Feeling Good in the Rain

It has been raining all day, and I've been trapped in doors. I almost drank a bug, which was traumatic, but fortunately I saw it's round body floating in the swirl of my hot chocolate, and I screamed just as it was grazing my lips. A close call.

I feel like things are working out well. I'm enjoying myself in general, and I'm having a good experience in Texas. I have an interview tomorrow, and I'm working on lots of different plans for the future. Hopefully, something will work out, but I'm taking it all as it comes.

Every where I turn, I see young professionals. Adulthood and responsibility, gray clothes and materialism confronting me. I can honestly live without the latter, but I'm prepared to accept the inevitable.

I straightened my apartment today and it looks so nice. Clutter gone, and I feel more put together. So much for the comfort of tangled nests.

okay i lied...

I'm not giving up...yet.

I like things to be a little messy. It's comforting. Like nesting in a pile of weeds and twigs, haphazardly thrown together. Living alone is lonely sometimes, but I can overcome the loneliness. Mental power is super power.

I was painting with gold leaf I found at my grandparents house, originating from the days when Grandpa made signs. I was making a mess, and I was frustrated because I don't have real paints or canvas, despite my resolution to only use found materials. Sometimes when I make art from garbage, the end result is garbage. But I always make garbage before I can produce something good. Sometimes I like the garbage best, but I typically end up overworking it and destroying it because in the back of my mind I think the rest of the world will hate it.

That shouldn't matter. The process of making something and destroying it is beautiful. I lose myself.













grandpa's black ink and gold leaf, cardboard, dad's pastels
and graph paper from childhood.

um...i think the end has come

I think it's time to end this blog. i'm feeling tired and ready for chapter 2

Uck

I'm in dad's office, and I've been on the computer for hours. I feel it wearing on me, and I need to get out of here soon.

Katharine's friend, the curator of the contemporary art museum in Houston, invited me to an artist lecture. Franklin Sirman will be speaking tomorrow at 6:30, and I will be attending. He has an awesome blog